But I ’ve said these exact words in a multitude of different contexts when she brings up weight and they don ’t seem to help. If she wants to stay where she is or put on more weight, cool with that too. If she wants to lose weight for health reasons, I ’m fine with that. Otherwise our marriage is perfect, but I ’d like to improve it with your advice on how to help my partner get over her weight hang-ups and enjoy the pretty good sex these insecurities are mucking up. She now accuses me of calling her fat or being a creep who is into fat women. More recently I ’ve been saying I really enjoy her extra jiggle and find her very sexy. When she used to ask me if she is fat, I ’d say no, and she ’d call me out as a liar and get upset. The problem I have is in how to respond when she complains about her weight when we ’re about to get intimate (which she always does). I ’ve put on weight too, and I still find my wife very sexy. She went from quite slender to somewhere in the borderlands of overweight/obese. My wife has put on a fair bit of weight since we were married a couple decades ago. Have a question? Send it to Stoya and Rich here.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column.
